THE EVILS OF COFFEE

Well, that explains it.  From "The Evils of Coffee"

tin sign from www.popartuk.com

"Since the 1920s, coffee drinking has almost completely destroyed all decency and morality in the United States and Europe. During that time, violent crime, burglary, divorce and the inappropriate use of large vegetables by bored American women, have all increased to almost epidemic dimensions—if not to bubonic plague proportions.

"One's elders are laughed at, women smoke cigarettes quite openly, gentlemen go about bare-headed and girls as young as five and twenty expose their naked ankles to the gaze of passersby. The very fabric of society is warped beyond redemption and stretched to breaking point. Coincidence? I think not!

"Coffee, once an unusual and rare drink is now drunk openly on every street corner in every city from New York to San Francisco—and possibly even further west. Entire chains of coffee shops now brazenly sell their despicable wares on British High Streets and American Main Streets where even young children can see them.

"Thus from the very earliest age, our children begin to think of coffee drinking as stylish, or even fashionable. They are brainwashed into believing that coffee drinking is a perfectly acceptable alternative lifestyle, only to discover too late that it is a fast-track passport to ill-health, unbridled sexual promiscuity, greasy skin and debilitating headaches as my exhaustive research clearly proves."

COFFEE, PROCRASTINATION AND THE BIKE

I was on a deadline and still had managed to procrastinate away the largest part of the day.  The bike had to go to the shop.  I was leaving the next day. The bike and a new, as yet not-purchased heavy duty bike lock, had to be delivered 300+ miles south to my son waiting expectantly in his dorm room. 

What resulted was what each of us procrastinators hopes will happen every time, but almost never does.  I went by a small bike shop that recently opened in my neighborhood.  It was late in the afternoon, I noticed the sign said closing was in two hours.  Two bike guys took the dusty bike into their control.  "No problem, it'll be done tomorrow afternoon at the latest." 

"Actually, I'm leaving before noon tomorrow.  Could you work on it this afternoon?"

"No problem."

My heart soared.  Time to linger at a table outside the local coffee shop on a beautiful October day. I had tucked my laptop in my bag and now I had been gifted an hour and a half of free time. 

When I came back, it was fifteen minutes before closing and the bike was not done.  The bike shop owner said it would only be a few more minutes.  He offered me coffee--noting that he only brewed organic french press and free wi-fi.  I sat down on the couch in front of the picture window.  The gangly half puppy half adult dog joined me on the other faded cushion.   

When the bike was finished and loaded into my car, the owner pointed to his "car," a bicycle built for two.  He invited me to come by and hang out any time.  "We make coffee every morning and usually have fresh muffins."

This is indeed the reward that validates our procrastination.  

FAIR TRADE

I deposit my paycheck at my bank and in return they let me make
coffee from a new Keurig machine with a selection of blends that includes Newman's organic.  Is that fair trade?

Caffè breve

brevity was not his native language

SIPPING COFFEE

tiny crackles of free time:  bolts of lightning across a dark sky of boredom.

SWEETWATER COFFEE ROASTERS

Sweetwater Organic Coffee Company is a member of Cooperative Coffees (CC), a green coffee importing cooperative, committed to supporting and partnering with small-scale farmer organizations.

Roaster members stretch from Rhode Island to Washington State, and from the Northern Territory of the Yukon, Canada down to the panhandle of Florida. Some are roaster-retailers, others are roaster-wholesalers, but all a.

Sweetwater Organic Coffee is located in Gainesville, Florida, Home of the Florida Gators is committed to Fair Trade, Organic coffee and sustainability, roasting coffee daily in micro-batches to ensure freshness within each cup.re small-sized operations that are committed to selling sustainable coffees. 

COFFEE FILTERS

coffee?  latte.  Sweet'N Low? Stevia.  creamer?  soy milk.  second date?  nope.

hemp coffee filters

BROKEN HEART

This morning, the sun sparked the gold band on the barista's left hand:  seven days of heart shaped latte art - broken.  

photo by Karl Swedberg

COFFEE AS AN ART FORM

Andrew Saur and Angel Sarkela-Saur have been painting with coffee for several years now. It all started one summer when they planned their first art show in a coffee house in Duluth, Minnesota. They wanted to come up with something unique and creative. Since their show was going to take place in a coffee house, they thought it would be appropriate to use coffee as their medium. They tried several techniques, such as using the coffee bean to sketch with and making pastels out of coffee grounds. These techniques were not successful. So they finally decided to use the coffee as a watercolor.

 From Coffee Art

Download a coffee personality poster, recipes or a screen saver from Coffee Art and there are some unique, very inexpensive prints for sale that would compliment my kitchen decor.  

LAWYERS AND LATTE

The attorney raised his gaze from the retainer check to his client's blue eyes: yes, bad coffee can be grounds for divorce.

IF IT FEELS PRETTY COARSE, THEN IT PROBABLY IS

Intelligentsia Coffee, Venice, CA

SINGLE CUP COFFEE BREWER?

I've been looking around town for a single cup coffee maker for my office.  All I have found so far are either very expensive or the type with a carafe, which frankly don't heat to a correct brewing temperature.  I also don't want to be limited to having to buy a pod, a T or a K.  I like my beans fair trade and organic!

I was hoping the Coffee Detective could help.